Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
