I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
