Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
