ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
