do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
