That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
