So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
