I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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