the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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