So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
