Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
