i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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