Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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