Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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