he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When are your genitals available?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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