I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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