i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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