So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
