Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
