just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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