im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
