Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My bed smells like the plague
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
