Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
