Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
