Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
