I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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