The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
