dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found puke in my bra..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
