pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
