You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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