Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
