normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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