I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
