do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My vagina just recognized that song.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
