i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
