Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
