Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize