This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
