Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize