If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
