even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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