So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
