Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize