I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
