Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize