I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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