Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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