Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry holllyyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

Fav 4 2603 1468
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

So squirting runs in the family.

Fav 16 4247 1743
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

Fav 7 1304 3099
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

Fav 12 1181 4460
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

Fav 2 1142 707
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies

Fav 1 1355 789
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

Fav 6 1633 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!

Fav 1 46 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that explains so much

Fav 0 41 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT