The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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