somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The best revenge is premature balding
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize