I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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