she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i think my cat just said my name.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize