just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
