Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
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