That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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