He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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