I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
