There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
