wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
